These past few weeks I have struggled. When I finished the NYC Marathon I finished knowing I wanted to run another marathon, that I wanted to BQ by 40. I took a few weeks off, hired Jess as my coach and dove back into running the first week of December with the intention of running the Long Island Marathon in May. I started off great and then in January I came down with the flu followed by a stomach virus, then my shoulder started to act up and then my knee started bothering me and on and on and on. Somewhere along the way running became a source of stress. I need to run xx miles on Sunday. I need to do a temp run on Thursday. I can’t miss another run because I don’t want to disappoint my coach. Where running used to relieve my stress it was now the source and I have struggled.
Training for a marathon is hard work and I know this. Training for the NYC Marathon was hard, but I wanted it, 2014 was my year and nothing was going to stop me. Despite working full time, family obligations, blogging and taking three college courses I managed to train for the NYC Marathon and loved every minute because I knew I would finally get to have NY in the end. Look how happy I was on that day:
I signed up for the Long Island Marathon for a couple of reasons and none of them even come close to why I wanted NYC, a marathon I had been chasing since I was 19. The more I think about running the LI Marathon the more I think about all the reasons I never ran the LI Marathon in the past including a boring route that I have driven a million times and running the Wantagh Parkway with minimal spectators and crowd support. The positives is that it is flat and a good course to PR, but is it worth it???? I am planning on relocating over the summer (more on that soon) and I thought this would be my last hurrah on Long Island, I mean what better way to leave the place I have lived my entire life by running a marathon, right??? Wrong.
I have been struggling. I have been dreading running. The thought of running has been causing me stress. All of these things made me realize I really needed to soul search and decide what I wanted because I love running and now I was beginning to hate it. After much thought and soul searching I decided not to run the LI Marathon. With this decision I felt a weight lift off of me and I felt free. I discussed it with Jess on Friday and she supported my decision. I may drop down to the 1/2 marathon or even the 10K, but I will not be running the marathon.
Jess told me to take the week to think about what I really want, to decide what race I want to run. This decision has made me feel free. I will run another marathon and I will BQ, but it won’t be at the LI Marathon and it most likely won’t be this year and that is okay. Finishing school and a big move are my focus this year, running marathons will be my focus in 2016.
In other news my shoulder has been causing me a lot of pain and I had an MRI this past Wednesday. I go back to the orthopedist on Thursday to get the full results, surgery or not, I am fully prepared to do whatever I need to do to heal my shoulder even if that means laying off of running for awhile.
Have you ever struggled with running?