A wise person once said either you will find a way, or you will find an excuse. Lately more than ever this rings true. I am not sure when it happened but somehow over the last few years I stopped caring about myself and I stuffed part of me into a tiny little box…pretty much going through the motions of daily life, but not actually living it.
I gained weight, stopped wearing makeup, and honestly just did what I thought I should do without actually being present. I stopped challenging myself. I ate and drank away my emotions, because it helped me numb them. My self confidence and self esteem plummeted.
I also didn’t let this show. I kept trudging through my days. I kept trying to motivate my runner friends even when I didn’t feel the motivation. I posted my happy face to Instagram even when I was struggling. My job had left my unfulfilled and unhappy.
I found excuses…many of them. I can eat more because I run. I can drink three beers because I run. Work is work, I am making money. I am training for a marathon, that’s a challenge…..right???? I even participated in the most unproductive weight loss challenge in November which only resulted in frustration and not much weight loss.
If you follow me on Instagram you may have noticed some changes in me, a big one being weight loss. I came back from Key West weighing the most I have since I was pregnant with my second daughter, it was eye opening to say the least.
So what changed? For one thing I took responsibility. I took a good look at what I wanted my life to be and what I wanted to change. I owned up to myself and decided to make changes.
First I changed jobs. That happened in October. I left dialysis for school nursing and I can safely say it was the best decision. I may make less money, but I am 100x happier. I don’t dread going to work, I actually like it. I still do dialysis per diem and I think it keeps me in check.
After Key West I started working on myself. I started the Body Back 8 week Transformation. It consists of twice weekly hour long HIIT type workouts, nutritional support and general support. I also started kickboxing three times a week in addition to running. Another big change was starting a walking regimen at lunch time. I meet my friend Arleen daily for a 2.5-3 mile walk, this has been great exercise and great therapy.
I also started caring about myself again. I got my haircut and darkened it. I got my nails done. I started wearing makeup anytime I leave the house. I bought new clothes. I started putting effort into myself and it feels great.
The result…I feel awesome. I have dropped close to 16 pounds. I feel energized. I feel refreshed. Most of all I feel like me again. I gained back what I had lost, me. How??? I owned up. I took responsibility for my actions and my feelings. Circumstances can make you unhappy, but you have the power to change them. You have the power to make things better. You have the power, but only if you take responsibility for actions and make changes.
How have you taken responsibility for yourself?